max and paddy raymond the bastard

-->And best of all, we don't pay council tax.''''. You should wear a mask and a striped jumper! Well? Christine, 33, and Paddy have three children. ''Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere'' is Creator/Channel4 BritCom spun-off from the popular comedy ''Series/PhoenixNights'' that sees former Phoenix Club doormen Max (Creator/PeterKay) and Paddy (Paddy [=McGuinness=]) aimlessly travelling around Britain in a motorhome that they bought with the proceeds from faking an assassination and pocketing the cash during the final episodes of ''Phoenix Nights''. The police are quickly on to the gang, with only Shannon aware of any crime. Not long after, Brian Potter pays a visit and thanks to a news article regarding the Phoenix Club, the inmates find out that Max and Paddy are just "bouncers". * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. * NonIndicativeName: The Patelster, a friend of Max's friend the Wolfster. * AssShove: When Paddy was a child he used to frequently shove. [citation needed] He has also provided voiceovers for several video games. ** In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. He also reveals that he once had a one true love by the name of Tina. spoken by Paddy to Billy the Butcher when knocking him out with a traffic cone.]]. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard, who is also Pepe's boyfriend. In 2011, he played his first major role in the feature film Screwed, directed by Reg Traviss, playing the part of Curtis Nelson. * ParallelPornTitles: Paddy owns a DVD of ''[[Series/CharliesAngels Charlie's Anals]]'' and later appears in a film called ''[[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory]]''. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. The series showed both characters going around Britain in a campervan and sees them getting into some trouble. * OohMeAccentsSlipping: When Max sings Thats Why They Call It The Blues in Episode Three, Peter Kays natural voice slips through more than usual. ]], * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. Max and Paddy Go To Prison | Peter Kay - YouTube 0:00 / 6:41 Intro Sign in to confirm your age This video may be inappropriate for some users. * SchmuckBait: Raymond the Bastard telling Paddy to [[PrisonRape bend over and pick the soap up]]. ]], * TunnelKing: [[spoiler: Max's attempts at this leave a lot to be desired. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. Billy is arrested, Paddy gets better and the police pardons the two of them, despite an earlier event regarding a speed camera. %%* ItsAllAboutMe: Both Max and Paddy are prone to this. * CelebrityParadox: In episode three, in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's bitter. Potter fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus revealing their stories as lies. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tinas family remain intact. You shouldn't upset him. Brian has been [[spoiler: fronting a very public campaign to get Max and Paddy released from prison which destroys the persona of rich gangsters that they used to live an easy and safe life while inside. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin. The pair arrive in London, and immediately have an altercation with the traffic police. * YouCanKeepYourHatOn: Non-sexy variant, when the Phoenix Club staff(the male half, anyway) is forced to strip nude and get sprayed with disinfectant, Young Kenny is still wearing his hat. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. Also the farmer isn't very happy about the two killing one of his cows. The room full of male bodybuilders is certainly a clue though. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. Amazingly, no one calls them on it. Theyre generally decent guys but not above stealing and conning people if it will benefit them. He points the gun at Max who tells him he needs help. * AffablyEvil: For a DepravedHomosexual [[TheYardies Yardie]] who's literally named "The Bastard," Raymond the Bastard is pretty polite to Max and Paddy. I know. Elsewhere Paddys love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. ** Max's attempt to [[spoiler: gradually tunnel out of prison. Both Max and Paddy are oblivious to this. * SeinfeldianConversation: Max and Paddy have these fairly regularly. Brian brings Max and Paddy a cake while they are in prison and they immediately assume its this trope. [2] * ParallelPornTitles: Paddy owns a DVD of. ** Also, the farmer who sells Max and Paddy his pig. Bringing you all the best moments from stand up to sitcoms!Subscribe here: https://bit.ly/2OKEbEf#PeterKay #PaddyMcGuinness #Max\u0026Paddy 15Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, \"Easy Rider\" style. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. When the campervan stops off later down the road, Max sees a newspaper headline and realises what's happening. He's not. The pair are now in prison together after the school bus incident. HilarityEnsues. * LeftTheBackgroundMusicOn: Episode Three contains a montage of [[spoiler:Max following his long lost son to school and trying to deal with the news that he's a father]] set to the Boyzone cover of "Father & Son". * CampGay: Pepe, Raymond The Bastard's ([[spoiler:the kingpin of the prison wing where Max and Paddy end up]]) boyfriend. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting. Eventually, she goes to the Police and gets Max and Paddy released at the cost of keeping her secret, as well as finally letting Max meet Daniel after his release.]] * ThirdPersonPerson: Paddy is this fairly frequently. After a bad first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' in the shower room. The staff, however get punished as well as Brian, at the end of Episode 4. * EvilFormerFriend: Billy the Butcher to Max. * ItsAllAboutMe: Both Max and Paddy are prone to this. After knocking down a cow in the countryside, Max and Paddy approach who they believe to be the farmer and ask for compensation. On one occasional, the pair end up in prison. * PaperThinDisguise: Max and Paddys paramedic disguises during the TV theft in Episode One. Log In. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long-lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tina's husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniel's father) to remain a happy family. [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get stuck with the job of shovelling coal into a furnace while in prison, and Max says that there'll be two kitchen jobs available once Raymond The Bastard arranges for two inmates to get locked in the freezer.]] * PreAssKickingOneLiner: [[spoiler:"'Ave it!" The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. He was tunnelling towards the next cell. Max and Paddy then dress as paramedics and use the TV under a blanket as a stretcher to get all three out of the building. You need to be logged in to continue. * CoitusInterruptus: After Max and Paddy bring two girls back the motorhome, Paddy predictably has sex with one while Max prefers to have a drink and a civilised chat with the other. Max's amazing car alarm from phoenix nights extended to 40 secondsi own nothing - you should give this show a watch if u haven't seen it before - highly reco. * ContinuityNod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at. * VocalEvolution: Maxs voice is different than in Phoenix Nights because continuing it would have risked long-term damage to Peter Kays voice. * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. It doesn't leave a mess all over their motorhome, but it farts. He also calls people a clown or a melon if they've said something absurd. ]]\, '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. On the DVD packaging, it is now referred to as "The UK's fastest selling fitness DVD Ever!" Shortly after the series, the two characters starred in their own fitness video entitled "Max & Paddy: The Power of Two", which features a cameo from Brian. * TheCameo: The cast of Series/PhoenixNights briefly reprise their roles in Episodes Two and Four. * ConvenientlyCellmates: [[spoiler: Averted in the case of Max and Paddy, along with some LampshadeHanging from a guard. * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. * NiceJobBreakingItHero: [[spoiler:Granted, Brian Potter's only a "hero" by loose definition, but he ends up outing Max and Paddy as harmless bouncers instead of hardcore gangsters by appealing for their release from prison on TV.]]. Paddy is not happy. * OohMeAccentsSlipping: When Max sings "That's Why They Call It The Blues" in Episode Three, Peter Kay's natural voice slips through more than usual. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tinas family remain intact. Tina warns Max to keep his distance and not reveal the secret, but the following morning he informs Paddy and the pair steal what they think is a school bus with young Daniel aboard. After being arrested for the school bus robbery, the two of them are in jail. After an altercation with fellow prisoner Pepe, the pair of them meet Raymond the Bastard. * SeinfeldianConversation: Max and Paddy have these fairly regularly. However, the child, a 10-year-old boy called Daniel, is actually Max's son. ]], * HugeGuyTinyGirl: Taken to its absolute limit with Max (who is both tall and fairly large) and Tina (a woman with dwarfism). Max decides not to tell his son that he is his real father, allowing the family to get on with their lives without him interfering.]]. The motor home originally purchased by Max in Phoenix Nights was a Ford; however, the motor home they use in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a Fiat. You'd think by his name he'd be Indian, right? * ContinuityNod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at Brians fun day in Series 2 of Series/PhoenixNights. * OopNorth: Traditionally Lancashire, but there are a few characters from other parts of Northern England, such as Mick Bustin' (played by Birmingham native Noddy Holder) and Billy the Butcher (Newcastle). * HoneyTrap: Tracey and Sharon, the girls that Max and Paddy take home in Episode One after going out dressed as sailors. ** One can only guess what Paddy's part in the porn film ''[[ParallelPornTitles Willy Wanker And The Chocolate Factory]]'' entailed that makes him ask Max to drive over speed bumps more carefully. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". * EmbarrassingNickname: When he was a child, Paddy wore callipers and braces and was nicknamed, * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniels father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. Max agrees just to get Raymond off their backs and receive preferential treatment, including access to luxury chocolates and Sky+ . Max and Paddy Quotes @maxandpaddyline 16 Sep 2017 Follow Follow @ maxandpaddyline Following Following @ maxandpaddyline Unfollow Unfollow @ maxandpaddyline Blocked Blocked @ maxandpaddyline Unblock Unblock @ maxandpaddyline Pending Pending follow request from @ maxandpaddyline Cancel Cancel your follow request to @ maxandpaddyline * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prisons exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddys cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis. * BeardOfEvil: One of Raymond the Bastard's men has a massive beard. Copyright: Phil McIntyre Entertainment. She certainly doesn't agree with him. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Max has How dare you (delivered in a haughty tone) and You only get a bucket and a half (relating to the amount of semen a man can produce), and Paddy has Paddy has needs (relating to his sex drive). * AcceptableTargets: In-universe, when Max and Paddy pull up to cut down a speed camera, passers-by salute and cheer them. They're generally decent guys but not above stealing and conning people if it will benefit them. * EnemyEatsYourLunch: Pepe eats the cake that one of the friendlier inmates' daughter gave to him as a warning that he's due to pay collection money to Raymond the Bastard. When Paddy insists that there's ''not'' a difference, Max calls him "Mr. And he's also an AxCrazy Yandere. ]], * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prison's exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddy's cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis.]]. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. Click here to login or here to sign up. [[spoiler: Daniel]] lampshades this. * ActorAllusion: Paddy's full name is revealed to be Patrick O'Shea. * {{Gayngster}}: Raymond the Bastard is possibly a Yardie, definitely a scary convict, and definitely gay. Ironically, he's also gay, and Jamaica, where the original Yardies started out, is a country with a reputation for homophobia. They do get cornered by local DepravedHomosexual Raymond the Bastard in the showers, after dropping soap, but [[SubvertedTrope he doesn't rape them]]. The first few while Paddy is teaching Max to dance and pick up women; and the last when they hear an angry rant from Max after Paddy accidentally wakes up him while having ADateWithRosiePalms. Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter (played by Kay) unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. Paddy notes that theyre likely to suffer the same fate when [[spoiler: their lies (pretending to be rich gangsters and promising Raymond 60% of their loot in exchange for an easy life) are uncovered. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. ** A variant of this happens at the end of the same episode after Max and Paddy finally get some speakers for their TV and Paddy puts on his [[ParallelPornTitles. * PsychopathicManchild: Apart from being murderously violent, Billy the Butcher spends time engaging in trivial debates with Paddy over correctly guessing the theme tunes to popular TV shows, where Paddy insists on going by ExactWords including the creators as well as the show titles. [1] * NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: Raymond the Bastard, obviously. * ChekhovsGunman / EarlyBirdCameo: Maxs ex-girlfriend Tina appears in flashbacks in Episode Two before playing an important role in Episodes Three and Four. -->''''Dont know where were going, got no way of knowing. As soon as they're released, they call in an anthrax threat at the Phoenix Club on the night of Jerry's 60th birthday party.]] * SchmuckBait: Raymond the Bastard telling Paddy to [[PrisonRape bend over and pick the soap up]]. Paddy doesn't. Image shows from L to R: Paddy (Paddy McGuinness), Max (Peter Kay). '', * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating up a pizza delivery man with a bin for bringing him the wrong delivery. Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, "Easy Rider" style. Apart from being a bastard, he runs this wing. '''Max''': How dare you?! Unbeknowst to Max, Billy has become obsessed with Max and goes to all lengths to give Max what he wants. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. * ShapedLikeItself: Raymond The Bastard is, as you'd expect, a bastard. Maybe one or two biological weapons though. * DepravedDwarf: Subverted by Max's dwarf girlfriend, Tina, who's very much one of the nicest characters in the series. He was tunnelling towards the next cell. The pair come up with a plan to convince their fellow cellmates they are hardened criminals named the Phoenix Twins, in order to survive. Especially when they're on the road. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere: With Peter Kay, Paddy McGuinness, Lisa Hammond, Tony Mooney. Sign Up. After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' (see sodomy) in the shower room by Raymond the Bastard (Raymond Langley). After knocking down a cow in the countryside, Max and Paddy approach who they believe to be the farmer and ask for compensation.

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